We need to always remember that even if it seems like no one cares, people care. So many people care, and we have to have hope for our happiness – even if they come in small bits and bursts. Because happiness isn’t something to aspire towards, it’s something we can appreciate when it comes, and that’s what we need to remember on the days when it’s not easy and difficult to be happy, always.
You may look the same as everyone else, you may laugh the same, talk the same and act the same, but inside, you know you’re not the same, because inside, it’s a struggle, all the time and every time.
When we’re physically injured, everyone can see it, and most people will even have sympathy for it, like when we have a broken arm or leg. But when we’re mentally hurt, it’s something that people cannot see, and because people cannot see it, it’s so much harder to actually explain and justify, even to ourselves.
No one thinks they’re not normal when they have a fever, but we’ll ask ourselves if we’re not normal to be feeling depressed. And we don’t want to be not normal, so we can become quite good at acting normal. So much so that there can be two versions of you – a version that everyone sees, and a version that only you see.
But the truth is that there is only one us, and the other version, the happy, friendly, funny version, may be us with a mask on. And we’re not even pretending, because we want to be that person, and if we try hard enough, maybe we’ll become that person.
But wearing a mask isn’t comfortable, it’s tiring and it’s heavy. And the desperation comes when we want so badly to take it off yet we feel that we will crumble to ashes without it, and so we might feel that there’s only one real choice we can make, and that’s to end it. To stop living.
And this is where you have to know that your depression is not your identity, that even as you feel consumed by it, that it’s not you, it’s a part of you. Being depressed isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s not something that people can judge because they’re not in your head.
No matter how dark the days get, no matter how difficult it is to just get through another day, remember that it’s not that you’re weak, it’s just that you’re human, and human beings have to face and resolve many, many issues in life, and sometimes we even have to live with issues we cannot solve.
The solution to any problem, including physical and mental pain, doesn’t come from hating ourselves, or hating our own lives. Help never centres around hate, but around hope. We have to find our own hope to live, and really focus on that hope.
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